You're so nebulous sometimes
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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