Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
