i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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