I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
