Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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