What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I love having hate sex.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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