What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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