I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
