Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
