dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
