we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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