K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
