No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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