I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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