told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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