Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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