I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
