i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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