haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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