She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
