so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
