he wants to bone in the snuggie
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
