You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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