My pussy is not your playground.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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