If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
