brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
