Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
