Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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