doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
mondays should just be called national damage control day
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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