she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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