this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize