ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
