I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
