Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
