I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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