I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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