Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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