real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
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body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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