yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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