im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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