matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
