can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
