marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
