He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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