This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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