Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
