Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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