dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
