Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
