I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We had to coat check the pizza.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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