it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
