the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
