ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
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I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.