There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals