Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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