u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
