Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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