hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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