$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
