I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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