Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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